Thursday, March 24, 2005

About Gay Marriage...

Let me preface this rant with a few notes... first of all, this is a rant I wrote a little over a year ago, when the whole gay marriage thing first started becoming a hot topic. But it's been sitting on my computer's hard drive since then, waiting for a place to share it.

In the past few weeks here in Olympia (the capitol of Washington State), there's been a lot of hoo-ha over the whole gay marriage thing, as our local lawmakers have been debating the issue, and there was even a whole anti-gay marriage rally that took place near the capitol building, which I happened to drive by one day while taking Krypto to a walk.

So how do I feel about this?

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Okay, let me first get this out of the way… I'm not a religious person. If I'm anything, I'm an Agnostic. Maybe God exists, maybe he doesn't. If someone else is very religious, fine – just don't try to dictate to me how to live my life based on your religion!

A lot of people have been noticing that a lot of atrocities are done in the name of religion. The 9/11 attacks and probably all the fighting in the Middle East are done in the name of religion.

Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky.
--John Lennon

John wasn't a religious person himself, and if he were alive today, I'd have to imagine he'd be one of the biggest supporters of gay marriage. As I'm writing this, it's one of the biggest controversies going on, with George W. Bush trying to force through a Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriages.

What the hell is the big deal? I don't understand why so many people get so hacked off at the idea of two people who love each other deeply wanting to make a permanent commitment in the traditional way… just because the two people aren't a man and a woman.

Look, I'm straight, and it doesn't bother me. Gay marriages are not a threat to me, and they shouldn't be a threat to anyone else! What's the definition of marriage? Well, in my mind, it's two people who love each other making a commitment for the rest of their lives. I don't care if it's a man and a woman, or two men, or two women.

However, a lot of people are so intensely threatened by the idea that they've got to throw every excuse they can think of in order to stop gay marriages entirely. "Let them have a civil union of some kind, but they can't be married!" Oh, good, let's tell the gay community that their kind of love is a second-class love… that’s real 21st-century thinking there. Real advanced. These people probably also think that all Asians eat dogs and cats. I'm amazed they believe the world is round!

To all the people who are against gay marriages, I have this to say: Get over yourself. It doesn't matter if you think homosexuality is right or wrong… what you think doesn't matter. Homosexuality is. People don't choose their sexual preferences, it's hard-wired into them.

You don't know this, but I have an uncle, one of my dad's brothers, who is gay. How did I find this out? When I was planning my wedding, my dad made a reference to this uncle's "friend." That's how both of my parents refer to my uncle's partner… his "friend."

The oldest of my two sisters and her husband own two houses… one of them they lived in for some time, the other (the more expensive one) is the one they live in. For a time, they rented the house to a lesbian couple. Of course, when my parents referred to these women, it was that they were "that way."

Good grief, as Charlie Brown used to say.

I find it ironic in many ways that my parents can't even use the term "gay" to describe someone they know, or is only one degree of separation from them. My Mom is a big fan of Trading Spaces, and if you've ever watched the show, you know some of the show's designers are gay. Hell, my mom's even watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy – and remarked on the fact that Carson reminds her of an old friend of mine from high school who did come out of the closet a while back.

When the topic of gay marriage comes up, my parents get embarrassed and hem and haw, and make some kind of non-committed remark, if that. I honestly don't know if they're for or against gay marriage. I know they're anti-abortion… but I don't know how they feel about this "burning issue."

Homosexuality is out there… it's on TV, it's in the movies, it's in real life. Accept it's there, and treat people like you want to be treated. If you want someone else to accept your way of life, accept theirs. You don't have to agree with it, but you an accept it.

Gay marriage is already happening… and it will continue to happen. A Constitutional Amendment banning it will be about as successful as Prohibition was… and we all know how that turned out, don't we?

You know what I think? I think a lot of the people who are so threatened by gay marriage are people who are in bad marriages. I don't think they've got a healthy marriage, and subconsciously, they're afraid that if men marry men, and women marry women, that those marriages will turn out better than their conventional heterosexual marriage has.

They're afraid that homosexuals will show them they can do marriage better.
It's an understandable feeling, I suppose… a lot of people are threatened by people who can do something better than they can. There are probably people racist towards African-Americans because some African-Americans can dance and play sports better than they can. Or they're anti-Jew because some Jewish people are good in business. Or whatever the stereotype can be. Hitler must've felt threatened by the Jewish people, and look what he did as a result… and look where it got him.

So like I said before, get over yourself if you're against gay marriage. If you're going to put so much effort into something concerning marriage, put that effort into your own. Or if you're not married, put it into your own relationships, whether they're platonic or romantic. Don't tell other people how they have to live their lives, concentrate on your own.

As far as I'm concerned, people can do what they want, so long as it doesn't affect my own life or someone else's adversely. Don't try to take my rights away, and I won't try to take away yours.

Oh, wait, someone else already came up with a better way to say that…

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Jon

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:06 PM

    Excellent essay which makes a lot of good points. Very intelligently written! If only people would just let everybody live their lives as they see fit as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else...

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