Now, I don't recall if I've ever mentioned this before, but "Bewitched" is one of my favorite tv shows of all time... and to be honest, the beauty of Elizabeth Montgomery is no small part of that fondness. Yes, for as long as it was on TV, they were bound to duplicate storylines (heck, they outright remade some episodes!), and yes, I have my Darrin preference (Dick York, in case you were wondering).
I have to say that when I heard they were making a Bewitched movie a while back, I allowed myself to have a brief bit of hope... until I saw the first preview... and then I knew it was going to suck.
I've long had my own idea for a Bewitched movie -- actually, it was an idea that my first wife, Barbara, added some ideas to -- and even some casting ideas for it.
The concept we came up with was that we'd tell the story of how Darrin and Samantha met and got married, and also to have Darrin meeting Sam's family (yeah, I know, in the show, he met them later on). There would be some of the standard plot points -- notably, using the chaos caused by the use of magic as an inspiration for Darrin's current advertising campaign -- but it was going to be mostly about Darrin and Sam.
As I recall it, McMann and Tate (the ad agency Darrin worked for) was located in an office building in downtown L.A., and the ground floor of this office building housed a small bookstore, at which Sam worked (I considered having Sam own it, but figured it would work better if she was an employee there). When Sam's introduced at the bookstore, we'd see that she was very customer-oriented, even using her magic to help them find the books they were looking for (to the surprise of the owner, who wouldn't see the use of magic, but would be constantly surprised at what Sam would find -- such as books he didn't recall ever adding to the store's stock). There'd be a sequence where everyone in the store freezes in place, as Endora appears to once again berate Sam for wasting her time with these dreary mortals, but Sam finds them interesting.
Sam would see Darrin for the first time when he comes into her bookstore looking for a specific reference book he needs for a campaign (perhaps Darrin doesn't like to Google images, it wouldn't be important). Darrin wouldn't know the title of the book he was looking for, but of course when he describes it, Sam twitches, and finds the exact book he needs. Darrin says something like, "I don't know how I can thank you enough," because he really, really needed the book, and Sam suggests that he take her to dinner that night.
When Darrin returns to his office, and gets back to work, we see how smitten he is with Sam, because he keeps sketching her, even in the middle of a meeting with Larry Tate.
Darrin and Sam go to dinner that night, and of course Endora doesn't like this idea, and she tries to sabotage things with her magic, but Sam notices and uses her own powers to counteract what Endora's done until Endora gets fed up and leaves in a big cloud of smoke, which makes everyone think the restaurant's on fire.
The date's not over yet, as the couple go for a walk instead, and the night gets even more magical for them.
The next day, Darrin knows he's in love -- and the feeling's mutual. Most of the next part of the movie is continuing the relationship between Sam and Darrin, but since there has to be some kind of conflict, Endora manipulates things so that Darrin says something Sam misconstrues as meaning he's prejudiced against witches (which Darrin isn't -- he just doesn't think they exist, is all), so she breaks things off with him, and is miserable about it, even quitting her job at the bookstore.
She's about ready to move out of her mortal apartment and abandon the world of mortals entirely when Darrin knocks at her door, and tells her he doesn't know why they broke up, but if it was something he did, he is very sorry, and would never want to do anything to hurt Sam ever, because she's the woman he wants to marry -- and he'd produce the engagement ring (which we'd probably already have seen that he was going to give Sam the night she broke things off with him).
Sam, of course, accepts his proposal... and the remainder of the movie is the wedding itself, attended by Darrin's co-workers and family... and, of course, Sam's family, who Darrin doesn't get to meet until the day of the wedding, natch. Somehow, despite the disruptions caused by Sam's family, the ceremony does go off just fine (there'd have to be something occurring just prior to the ceremony to show Sam's family that yes, Darrin does love her, no matter what -- probably since Sam wouldn't have told Darrin she is a witch before accepting his proposal, she'd have to tell him before the wedding, to give him a chance to back out [the one thing in the original series I didn't like was that Sam waits until after they're married to tell him], and of course, even after being shown she is an honest-to-god witch, he still wants to marry her).
Things get a bit crazier at the reception, especially once Uncle Arthur's had a drink or two, and there's some confusion when Sam's cousin Serena shows up (since they're identical cousins, save for Serena's black hair). And of course, Aunt Clara causes some minor chaos when her magic goes awry. And Darrin's mother tells his father, "Frank, I have a sick headache."
Since Larry would've brought their latest finicky client to the wedding, the chaos at the reception somehow gives the inspiration to let Darrin and Sam come up with the slogan and ad concept for the client, who's very happy, and the new Mr. and Mrs. Stevens leave for their honeymoon (maybe their honeymoon would be on the moon? This could just be hinted at, and not necessarily blatantly shown).
As we get to the closing credits, I'd have the credits going up one side of the screen, while on the other side, we'd see Darrin and Sam buying their house on Morning Glory Circle, then after closing, while Darrin's at work, Sam deals with the movers taking their stuff in, and then she uses her magic to do all the unpacking... which is, of course, seen by nosy next-door-neighbor Gladys Kravitz, who rushes back into her house to insist to husband Abner that their new neighbors are weird. All Abner says is that their neighborhood could use something interesting happening.
If this movie did well, then the sequel could possibly deal with the birth of Tabitha... or perhaps some historical figures brought into the present thanks to Aunt Clara, or something like that.
So far as casting goes? Well... I'm not sure who I'd pick for Sam, but for Darrin, I'd pick the actor who played Greg on Dharma and Greg, just because he kind of looks like a combination of Dick York and Dick Sergeant. I'd go with Dennis Miller for Uncle Arthur, because I think Miller sometimes acts quite a bit like the late Paul Lynde. I had and have pretty much no ideas for the rest of the cast.
Jon
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